Compositions from Failure

To play a video game is to fail constantly. A game over screen is a constant reminder of your defeat. As a queer man, I feel that I am in a constant state of failure under heteronormative capitalism. I am a biological failure because I won't have children. And an economic failure because I won't create generational wealth.

To escape these negative emotions, I play video games. Informed by a history of queer resistance, I argue that playing a video game is a form of queer resistance. When players start to play Panel De Pon, a 1990s video game series, they disengage from hegemonic narratives and stop being productive or social. In a world of pixelated blocks, patterns and stress, heteronormativity softens. So the only thing that matters is making patterns and keeping the screen clear of obstructions.

This work aims to appropriate a tense fleeting digital moment of failure and present it as a colourful physical artwork, suggesting a new way to succeed—something I have been doing my entire queer life.